THE OLD MAN SPOKETH

By Edwin Cooney

I bumped into an old man the other day.  I didn’t have anything else to do so I thought I’d chitchat with him for a bit.

“What brings you to this watering hole, old boy?” I asked.

“Good beer, good company, and good conversations,” he said. “For instance, I have two good friends Lunkhead and Dunderhead who drop in now and then. They’re your typical conservative and  liberal know-it-alls. That’s always stimulating, because I just listen to them talk for a few minutes and I realize how much smarter and better informed I am than they are,” said the old fellow.

I know it wasn’t politically correct, but I asked him his age.

“I’m turning seventy-one this very day!” he exclaimed.

“That’s great,” I said.”You don’t look seventy-one!” I insisted. 

“Tell me, who does look seventy-one? What does seventy-one look like compared to 70 or seventy-two?” he shot back.

“So,” I asked him, “What reflections do you have about your life on your seventy-first birthday?”

“Of course, I think quite a bit about the past, but mostly I think about the future because, like everyone else, that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my days.  After some twenty-five years between marriages, I finally have a lovely wife to think about.  I think about my two lads in California and hope that they’ll take good enough care of themselves to outlive me in safety, prosperity, and peace of mind. 

“In recent years, I’ve become especially interested in life patterns. For instance, your birthday will always be on the same day of the week that you were born every 28 years. Thinking of that pattern makes me realize that I’m probably in the final third of my life. Twenty-eight years ago, it was 1988 and I was supporting Michael Dukakis over George H. W. Bush for President. Now, here’s another presidential year in which I backed two losers, Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton. Twenty-eight years from now I’ll be ninety-nine which means that although I could still be around, it’s unlikely that I will be. So, I need to make the time I have as fulfilling for me and those I love as I possibly can. That I’m still in a position to do that is a gift. 

“As for my spiritual well-being, I’m a Christian, but being a Christian today doesn’t mean to me what it once meant to me. Up until recently I thought being a Christian was about proving to God that I am faithful and worthy of His regard. I’ve since stopped treating God in my mind and heart as though He were Henry VIII, a jealous, insecure and vengeful Heavenly Monarch. I think God merely wants me to be curious and interested in the love God offers to me and people all over the world.” The old guy took a sip of his beer. “You know,” he said, “I’m convinced that God loves good beer! As for religion being the cause of most world conflicts, you can find a pattern and a danger there, but I’d say money is probably just as great a cause for both domestic and international conflicts. Yet seldom, if ever, do you hear anyone suggest that they can do without money! ”

“Here’s one for you,” I said. “Are things worse off, about the same, or better than they were when you were growing up?”

“A lot of little things aren’t as good as they once were, but most fundamental things are much, much better than they used to be,” said the seventy-one year-old birthday man. “I’d like to be able to smoke wherever I want to as I once could, but it’s much healthier as things are, so I can’t seriously kick. I’m old enough to remember 78 RPM records and tube radios. You had to wait for the radios to warm up. I remember most people owned only one telephone and you often had to run across the house to answer it. The receiver was hardwired into the phone base and the phone was hardwired into the wall, so there was little convenience or portability from Ma Bell. As for today’s music, I prefer the stars of the 50s, 60s and 70s, but I’m perfectly comfortable with letting today’s music be what it is. I remember when Elvis Presley was regarded as “the voice of the devil” back in the mid and late 1950s. The small town I lived in had a chime system set up in one of the Roman Catholic churches and the chimes would go off at 6 am and 6 pm, I think.  One day, someone substituted the musical chime record for “You Ain’t Nothin’ but a Hound Dog.” It was something of a scandal, to say the least!” 

“How about the state of the nation and that of the world compared to the time you were growing up?” I asked him.

“Life will always be what it always has been: both good and bad, secure and dangerous. I’ve read too much history to buy this nonsense of “making America great again.” No sane American would turn the clock back to relive Watergate, Vietnam, the Cuban Missile Crisis, fear of Soviet Russia, Jim Crowism in the South, or the annual fear of polio, just to name a few crises that supposedly made America “great.” There’s nothing fun or inspiring about the process of overcoming our domestic and international insecurities. Of course, no politician or president is going to make America great again. We’re not good because we possess great natural resources or human smarts or superior creativity. We’re great, when we’re good and we’re good when we provide  more opportunity to more people, at home and abroad. We come nearest to greatness when we feel secure enough to be tolerant. We’ve never been adequately tolerant of ourselves or of others, but we come close.”

The old man paused to order another libation and then said, “I think more than anything else we must keep several things in perspective. First, except perhaps during the years 1933 to 1969, we’ve always been led by the rich and by and large we’ve benefitted from their profits. Second, don’t let big business off the hook on regulation. We all need umpiring from time to time and intelligent regulation is essential to our welfare. Third, remember, you’re more than a taxpayer. You’re a consumer, a customer, a client, and, perhaps, a patient, and in these positions you can so easily become a victim of someone’s greed and recklessness. Fourth, patriotism has its proper place, but don’t assume that patriotism is about settling scores with other nations. Hitler, Mussolini, and Tojo tried that and all three were dead in short order. Finally, however much you and I prefer our personal social, political and spiritual values, our children and grandchildren are going to alter them to suit the world they inherit from us. After all, we shaped our society to meet our own demands.”

“Well, old man,” I said, “you don’t seem very afraid as you approach what Frank Sinatra sang as the “autumn of our years.”

“I’m a tad apprehensive about my ultimate fate. After all, it’s not only natural but even  wise to attempt to fathom the uncertain or the unknown! All the apprehension in the world won’t change the reality that I’ve been here much longer than I will be here.  When I became 28 years old on Wednesday, November 28th, 1973, I was in graduate school.  When I became 56 on Wednesday, November 28th, 2001, I was in Alameda, California trying to recover from the loss of a sweetheart. I could reach Wednesday, November 28th, 2029 in fair or even good shape. Today is a good time for me to think about that,” the old man remarked.

“You’re a pretty wise old man,” I said as I reached to shake his hand.

Then, suddenly, without warning, I realized I hadn’t bumped into any old man at all:  I was the “old man.”

What made me realize that, you wonder? The answer’s simple. I fell right out of bed!

RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED,

EDWIN COONEY

SING A SONG OF MIKE PENCE!

By Edwin Cooney

I grew up singing “a song of six pence, a pocket full of rye.” Last Friday, November 11th, right in the middle of celebrating the valor of our veterans, President-elect Trump replaced New Jersey Governor Chris Christie with Vice President-elect Mike Pence to head his transition team. Thus, for the next four years and perhaps beyond, Mike Pence will invariably “trump” six pence!

Of course, anyone who proposes to know the significance of that appointment, unless his initials are DJT, is only guessing, but guessing is one of the activities Americans do most frequently.

A “conservative” governor of Indiana when he was selected last summer to run with Mr. Trump, Michael Richard Pence insists that he’s “a Christian, a Conservative and a Republican in that order.”  Born in Columbus, Indiana, on Sunday, June 7th, 1959, Pence was raised a Roman Catholic but became a “born again Christian” while at Hanover College.  He, his wife Karen, and their three children (Mike, Charlotte and Audrey) now attend an evangelical megachurch.  Young Mike Pence is now serving in the Marines in Afghanistan. (Note that Mike Pence is the third Indiana governor to be elected vice president.  The first was Thomas A. Hendricks in 1884 under Grover Cleveland and the second was Thomas R. Marshall under Woodrow Wilson in 1912 and 1916.)

As I see it, the Pence appointment to head the transaction team was the single most significant decision President-elect Trump has made since the election for the following reasons:

(1.) It suggests that Vice President Pence is going to be a major factor in the Trump administration.  This implies that President-elect Trump feels the need for the assistance of a professional politician at the highest level of the administration.

(2.) As a “Tea Party Republican” with both legislative and executive experience, what he is asked to do will be a strong indicator of what path the Trump administration may be taking regarding any one plan or problem.  There are three types of Republicans struggling for dominance in Washington these days.  They are “Paul Ryan Republicans,” “Freedom Caucus” or “Tea Party” Republicans, and “Donald J. Trump Republicans.”

(3.) While the appointments of Lieutenant General Mike Flynn to be Chief of Staff and Kansas Congressman Mike Pompeo to head the Central Intelligence Agency indicate that President Trump is sticking to a hardline foreign and immigration policy, it appears his appointments to the positions of Secretary of State and Secretary of Defense may be more moderate choices.  Both Rudy Giuliani and Newt Gingrich, who recently appeared to be candidates for the State Department, seem to have been eclipsed by the name of Mitt Romney who was part of the “Never Trump Club” not so long ago. 

To the extent that he may influence President-elect Trump toward more moderate appointments and positions, Mike Pence can be a positive factor in the next administration. However, Governor Pence’s signing of the Religious Freedom Restoration Act last spring permitting merchants and other vendors to withhold their services from LGBT Americans in the marketplace reveals a self-righteous Christian arrogance that isn’t even conservative. Although Governor Pence did ultimately sign an amendment to that bill protecting the rights of LGBT citizens, that was only due to pressure by political moderates and Indiana businessmen and women who feared devastating economic reprisals.

Mike Pence, Indiana’s fiftieth governor, was a mild, smooth-talking candidate during the October 4th Vice Presidential Debate with Senator Tim Kaine. It was a welcome contrast to Mr. Trump’s harsh, crude and reckless debating style.  Pence demonstrated his political prowess from his experience as a conservative talk show host between 1994 and 1999.  His rise to national prominence may well quell the candidacies of Texas’s Senator Ted Cruz and Florida’s Marco Rubio, but Governor Pence may be the greatest threat to civil rights since Alabama’s Sheriff Bull Connor during the 1960s.

Humankind has suffered centuries of repressive governments going back to Medieval Britain’s King John (1199-1216), Henry VIII (1509-1547), and Bloody Mary (1553-1558). The repression of chattel slavery, Indian genocide, anti-Catholicism, the Ku Klux Klan, and anti-immigration during our own era were also thought to be relics of the past.  It’s therefore stunning to have freely selected Mike Pence’s song of human repression in 2016.

I, too, am very concerned about Donald Trump’s lack of knowledge or appreciation of personal manners or of the importance of tolerance in both domestic and international discourse.  On the surface, Mike Pence appears to be an antidote to Mr. Trump’s failings.  In reality, he may be more dangerous. He’s smooth as ice cream, but underneath I think he’s meaner than the proverbial junkyard dog! 

President-elect Trump has indicated some understanding for our healthcare needs, and the wisdom of public works à la FDR to rebuild our infrastructure.  Vice President-elect Pence, meanwhile, belongs to the Tea Party wing of 2016/2017 Republicanism, the kind of GOP elephant who, since President Obama proposed infrastructure improvements, has been concerned only about balancing the books in both Indiana and Washington, D.C.  Individual safety, jobs, and religious freedom for all are an anathema to the Ted Cruz’s and Mike Pence’s of 2016 America.

From what I’ve heard so far, Trumpian cries of wounded outrage are nothing compared to the singing siren song of Mike Pence with or without a pocket full of Paul Ryan and those singing twenty-four Liberal blackbirds baked in Pence’s pie.

Were the choice between Trump or Pence, voting for Trump would have been almost -- but not quite -- easy.

Respectfully submitted,

Edwin Cooney

THE “GREAT REPUBLIC” HAS SPOKEN OUT OF BOTH SIDES OF ITS MOUTH

By Edwin Cooney

I know that the Electoral College has received its instructions from the separate states and will ultimately elect 70-year-old Donald John Trump as our 45th president.  I’m also aware that our newly minted president-elect has not received the majority of votes which would more permanently have sanctified the outcome of last Tuesday’s election.  Thus, divided America shakes like a bowl full of Jello energized by both rage and ecstasy, as you and I struggle to grasp what it all means for our future.

Ultimately, we are left to grapple with realities rather than either hopes or fears.  Should we successfully cope with these matters, America may become great in a way our newly minted president hasn’t even dreamed.  Still, these realities are pretty daunting, so let’s get to them!

(1.) President-elect Trump will become our lawful leader in 65 days.  His character is open to interpretation, just as his opponent Hillary Clinton’s was, and it includes acceptance and denial.  My friend, who I’ll call “stern Steven,” insists that Trump followers take him seriously, but do not take him literally.  Trump opponents, on the other hand, take President-elect Trump literally but not seriously.  Taken together, these two social and political categories of Americans, as I see it, constitute a society paralyzed by its own emotional indolence.

(2.) Unless there’s a dramatic shift in the national mood or circumstance, President-elect Trump will take office with more unchallenged authority than any president-elect since Franklin Delano Roosevelt in March of 1933.  The Congress is all Republican and the states are largely governed by Republicans.  Even more, the judiciary appears likely to turn conservative, conservatism being the ultimate blessing of the GOP since the election of 1980.  This reality may possess a silver lining.  One of the most constant threads in our social and political history is that ideologists seldom stick together very long.  FDR faced considerable insurrection in his party by the late 1930s and even Ronald Reagan faced suspicion on the part of some conservative intellectuals when he became clearly anxious to sign that Start Treaty with Mikhail Gorbachev late in his second term.

(3.) Obviously, President-elect Trump is not a social reformer. Hence, any social benefit that comes from legislation will only be secondary to the practical or monetary rewards or restrictions that emanate from legislation passed by Congress and signed by the president.

(4.) President-elect Trump may be a “business genius” but he’s far from being an international statesman.  Since the core of his international proclamations during the recent campaign consisted of largely barbs to be used against President Obama and Hillary Clinton, figuratively he’s a loose cannon in international affairs.  Obviously, he believes he’s the ultimate master of his lack of predictability, but it’s very possible that he’ll prove President Harry Truman’s observation in the early 1950s that (to paraphrase): “Any fool can go out and start a war. It’s making a peace that’s hard.”  The question is: does President-elect Trump have what it takes to negotiate a peace?

(5.) Unfortunately, President-elect Trump is in denial on the subject of global warming and the necessity for clean energy.  Climate-warming realities invariably clash with the legitimate needs of working people who are more concerned with eating and earning a living wage today. If what enables them to eat and earn isn’t maximized, they will have no future.  Only a few short years ago, these people were Hillary Clinton people.  Since the 1930s, they’ve given Democrats their support.  In 2016, however, their anxiety over the loss of their jobs appeared to them to be of no concern to Democrats who spent most of their time listening to “elitist” climate-warming scientists.  Hillary should have had an advisor like FDR’s Harry Hopkins who, time and time again, reminded FDR that “people don’t eat in the long run, they eat every day.”

At this writing, Hillary Clinton leads Donald Trump by some 200,000 popular votes.  That would appear to make the public protests that “Trump is not my president” legitimate.  Ah! But if Mrs. Clinton had won the electoral vote and lost the popular vote, would a protest against that outcome be legitimate?  Thus, what is at the core of many people’s unhappiness over last Tuesday’s election results?

Some of us are sorry that Hillary Clinton’s dream of becoming the first woman president is now over.  Others of us are frustrated that the legitimacy of progressive issues was only secondary to the imperfections of the Republican and Democratic nominees.  Hence, here is our ultimate dilemma.

For the time being, most of us with a liberal or progressive political and social agenda are not only shocked, but frozen within the body politic.  We have no majorities and no one seems to want, let alone, need our counsel.  The good news, however meager it may be, is that from now on it is all up to Trump versus Ryan versus Gingrich versus talk show host Republicans or Conservatives.  Today, Republicans possess the brass ring of opportunity, but opportunity is very, very fickle. 

Meanwhile, you the bereft, try and draw distinctions, as you evaluate the incoming political juggernaut between practical and foolish, right and wrong.  When President Trump is right, support him, however hard that may be, despite the GOP’s designed lack of support for President Obama back in 2009.  No reward is certain for that attitude, but at least try to seek the satisfaction of political magnanimity. Magnanimity is not surrender; it is the generosity of the noble and principled loyal opposition in a healthy and free society.

Chins up, gallant progressive liberals! Prepare for that tomorrow, however distant it may seem, to offer our principled applications to the fevered national brow.  Both the Capital Building and the White House await us beyond the interminable horizon.

RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED,

EDWIN COONEY

 .  

IF IT AIN’T EVER OVER, YOGI, WHAT DO WE DO?!

By Edwin Cooney

It has become tradition for voters to assert right before an election how glad they’ll be when it’s all over. That feeling is especially intense this presidential year with many Americans convinced that the choice is between a “crook” and a “pervert.” 

I’m convinced that the vast majority of Americans have only a marginal interest in either government or politics even though they are affected by the outcome of an election. However, writers have traditionally invented characters from Mr. Dooley to Archie Bunker to reflect the national mood.  I’ve chosen to use a truly national figure, a man whose homely wisdom enthralled millions of Americans.  His name was Lawrence Peter (Yogi) Berra.  Yogi knew and understood things which he explained indirectly in his own inimitable fashion.  I’ll introduce my purely imaginary Yogi Berra commentary later, but first here is my analysis of where we are at as election day dawns.

The situation is threefold.  First, history, which we rely on to inform us as to the significance of past events, reflects a much simpler time when the behavior of small groups of powerful people easily made a difference in the outcome of events.  Hence, Mr. Trump’s promise to “make America great again” doesn’t spell out to the voters what it would cost in pain and in lives to achieve and maintain that greatness.  Historic personalities have already made their mistakes or achieved their successes and are beyond our ability to control.  Current leaders suffer the doubts of an ever impatient public as they seek to achieve America’s safety and security.  Largely absent from our awareness are the doubts faced by even America’s greatest leaders.  Historical events may still influence what we think and do today, but time has mellowed their effect.

Second, current actions and  events are far from complete in their effect or in their modification.  Thus, international trade, healthcare, recovery from the 2008-2009 recession, the struggle against ISOL, the issue of climate change and even the effects of 9/11 are unfinished business.  All of these uncertainties, some of which have been with us for years now, assault our national consciousness and sense of safety and security.

Third, we Americans are the ultimate victims of our own indulgences which too often border on sensationalism and suspicion. Individually, we seek and even beseech others to grant us the benefit of every doubt.  However, especially when defending our own conclusions, we too often regard ourselves as intellectually and morally superior to those whose convictions differ from our own.  This brings us to the current atmosphere in social and political relations.

Politics, especially presidential politics, has always been brutal, even to an extent degrading.  Incumbent presidents going back to Andrew Jackson and Martin Van Buren have been demonized as slick, sleazy, self-indulgent, pedantic, and murderously cold to the welfare of the people.  Sometimes these accusations have been near the truth, but never have they been the whole truth.  What especially concerns me about the current phase of national assessment is our tendency not only to be self righteous in our assessments of others, but reckless and even poisonous to the national well of civility.  In short, we’ve succeeded in criminalizing the very political process our soldiers have fought to preserve.

Free government certainly depends on sound economic and forward-looking social policies, honest assessment of social conditions and wise administration of our affairs. However, free government has a deadly enemy and liberals, conservatives, progressives and libertarians and even the nonaligned have cuddled that enemy to their own breasts for their own political advantage and to justify their own indifference.  That enemy of free government is the criminalization of the body politic.  If we assess all opponents as “criminals” or “perverts,” we subject ourselves to the same conclusion.

My 2016 candidate for president, Hillary Clinton, has numerous liabilities, but she also has compelling assets of vision and creativity.  Mr. Trump, through smarts and business acumen, has amassed wealth by utilizing strategies which conceivably could be of service to the welfare of the American people. I say this because I may soon be compelled to grant Donald J. Trump the benefit of the doubt as president-elect of the United States. Although the very idea of that possibility makes me cringe, I am compelled by learning and living to acknowledge two vital realities.

First, the will of the majority must always prevail in a free society.  Second, although the will of the majority must prevail in popular elections, the minority possesses the obligation to constructively and creatively modify the inevitable mistakes of the majority.

So, if it ought to be over, but it ain’t over when it ought to be over, Yogi, what should we do?

“Well,” I imagine Yogi responding, “It’s like I told my friend Joey Garagiola one time when he was all worried about me and George Steinbrenner.  He wanted me to be mad  at George and tell him off.  I just told Joey not to worry because, after all, George and I just agree different!  People always get along better when they think about what they agree about rather than what they disagree about.  There’s a lot of things more important about our country than how we feel about any president.” 

I also imagine Yogi saying, “I think it’s much more important for all of us to think about how we feel toward each other.  If we do that long enough, how we feel about our leaders will take care of itself.  I never explained a lot to my players about how to hit or field, I just told ‘em to watch me.”

So, after tomorrow perhaps we ought to do it Yogi’s way.  Watch events with as much objectivity as you can.  Apply your instincts in evaluating the present as well as  the future.  Keep worry to a minimum, be more skeptical of skepticism, be cool as Yogi usually was. 

Worry and anxiety bring on hatred and that’s dangerous, because as I imagine Yogi would put it: “once you start hating it gets late out there early.”

RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED,

EDWIN COONEY