By Edwin Cooney
It’s true, due to my limited income, I pay very little income tax, but nevertheless, I do pay taxes. Even more, I’m “red-blooded American” enough to sympathize with those who work hard and carry a much higher burden of taxation than I. Yet, there’s a sour aspect in the minds of millions of Americans who, even as they profess their passionate and undying patriotism, seem to resent that they’re expected to pay taxes.
Isn’t it ironic? We expect soldiers to be proud to sacrifice their bodies and even their lives for America and yet most Americans, even as they acknowledge their plentiful life styles, genuinely resent their status as victims of the Internal Revenue Service. Have you ever heard someone express pride in being a taxpayer?
Still, it’s wise to keep an eye on the tax “person”. (Remember when it was tax man?) After all, if fire must be controlled, certainly the tax collector must be on a very short leash.
Last Thursday, I received the following from one of my readers. The subject is the over- taxed citizen. The first part of it, a poem, is quite delightful. The second part, the history lesson, really pushed my buttons. Here’s the enjoyable portion:
At first I thought this was funny...then I realized the awful truth of it.
Be sure to read all the way to the end!
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.
Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.
Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then
Tax his tears.
Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass
Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.
Put these words
upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove me
to my doom."
When he's gone,
Do not relax,
It's time to apply
The inheritance tax.
Next, under “accounts receivable”, the author lists every conceivable tax Americans are burdened with these days. Okay! Fair enough! However, then we get the history lesson:
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago,
and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in
the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What the hell happened? Can you spell "politician"?
And I still have to "press 1" for English.
As asserted above, the first part is both clever and delightful because one can readily identify with it. However, this piece’s characterizations and implications are both misleading and political.
I’ll say it in a nutshell: anyone who tells you that things were better in America a hundred years ago isn’t being straight with you. We were the envy of the people of Europe, but the kings and princes of the “old world” were no friends of American democracy. Keep in mind that the heroes of childhood fairy tales weren’t constituent assembly speakers. Sleeping Beauty was kissed and awakened by a handsome prince, not by a merchant. Cinderella wasn’t sought by a Rockefeller or a Morgan; she too went to live in a palace.
Sure we’ve paid for government services, but the public demanded these services because the pioneers of private enterprise refused to police themselves. People wearied of getting sick when they were sold rotten meat and carelessly concocted pharmaceuticals. In the wake of the Great Depression, people had a bellyful of being victimized by ruthless brokers and bankers who wisely invested their own money but carelessly speculated with their clients’ funds. One hundred years ago, homeowners could have their loans called at the mere whim of a banker. One hundred years ago, many mines and factories were deliberately kept unsafe for workers as a money saving device.
The worse part of this appeal for tax equity is who is being blamed for our current level of taxation. The author apparently wants you to believe that representatives of the poor and minorities (specifically immigrants) or the workers are the only “politicians”. This isn’t a diatribe against corporate welfare, but rather one against human welfare. It appears from reading this piece that we’re not at all in debt due to wasteful spending on war or corporate greed.
Finally, the author of this piece seems to want you to believe that “politicians” don’t represent really productive Americans. The author of this piece has apparently never read biographies of Daniel Webster, Henry Clay, or even Abraham Lincoln.
Oh, and by the way, 100 years ago we weren’t in debt, but Americans could look back on five national depressions—1819, 1837, 1857, 1873 and 1893—and the really big Depression was yet to come.
We all might be better off if we were proud rather than victimized taxpayers. After all, we expect our soldiers to be proud, do we not?
RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED,
EDWIN COONEY
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