MY PERSONAL DILEMMA

By Edwin Cooney

It depends on my mood, at least to some degree, sometimes. (Shhh! Don’t tell anybody, but sometimes I actually like to argue.) The truth is that debate is as nourishing to me as mother’s milk is to a kitty.

What issue you ask? Any issue — health care, Barack Obama, Rush Limbaugh, baseball’s designated hitter, whether the Bible is or isn’t the word of God — you name it and whether or not I know anything about it, I’ll gladly explore the idea with you. I may do this to see how much you know and are willing to tell me, thus improving my knowledge. I may explore the topic with you because you’ve said something I find encouraging, debatable, disgusting, touching or even self-revealing.

As I’ve asserted over the past couple of years, I was attracted to Barack Obama’s candidacy because I’d grown very weary of the “culture war.” The “culture war” has been underway since the U.S. Supreme Court decided Roe v. Wade on Monday, January 22, 1973. That’s long enough for me. President Obama insists that “we, the people” have more in common than we have differences. I believe he’s right, but therein lays my dilemma.

If the culture war ends, what will I have to argue about? That’s a scary question! The close of the culture war will bring about awareness that we don’t have to be perpetually mad at one another over political issues. We may even grasp the realization that we are our brother’s and sister’s keeper: they need our love and support rather than our critical indifference as they strive to make their way in the world.

Then, it’ll happen.

First there will come the “down” side, specifically, the withering away of big shot talk show hosts named Limbaugh and Schultz. Air America and Fox will become as extinct as the hula-hoop, the pet rock, the mood ring and your automobile’s cigarette lighter. Next, commercials from insurance companies like New York Life and Geiko (I can’t wait for that one!) will vanish. As for the “up” side -- radio will have to start playing records again…remember records? With the passing of talk radio and television, we’ll need more artists to write and produce radio plays, television movies, and documentaries. We will become a more learned and cultured society. We’ll realize that private insurance companies more than big government have been getting between our doctors and us. There’ll be tort reform thus stabilizing the costs of damage claims and so much more.

The dilemma is that with these changes and the end of the “culture war,” the issue (that wonderful political entity) will either die or become an endangered species like the buffalo and the spotted owl.

A number of years ago, the ABC network’s answer to NBC’s “Meet the Press” and CBS’s “Face The Nation,” was a news interview program called “Issues And Answers.” Now, if you ask me, that’s the elephant in the room of American society. The truth is that subconsciously Americans love issues better than they do answers. That, I fear, is my bottom line dilemma!

A few weeks ago, a very fine gentleman who lives in North Dakota sent me this quote from President John F. Kennedy as a “thought for the day”.

“So, let us not be blind to our differences - but let us also direct attention to our common interests and to the means by which those differences can be resolved.”

A splendid sentiment Mr. President, but an anecdote concerning one of your presidential predecessors makes my point.

Thomas “Tommy the Cork” Corcoran, one of FDR’s two major legislation writers, hadn’t always admired the erudite president. In fact, when he transferred from the Hoover administration to the administration of the New Deal he was angry with the new president. He disliked the aloofness exhibited toward President Hoover as he struggled with the Great Depression in the final days of his presidency. However, as Corcoran wrote legislation that saved people’s homes, bank accounts and their employment, his anger slowly turned to deep admiration.

One day late in FDR’s first term, Corcoran was sent up to Capital Hill along with White House lobbyist Charlie West by the president. He was to get members’ names on a petition to bring the minimum wage bill to a vote in the house. “I’ve got it, boss,” Corcoran told the president when he returned. “Where the hell have you been, Tommy?” FDR asked. “I’ve been up on the hill getting those names,” Corcoran said. “And right behind you was Charlie West getting the names you got on that petition right off,” FDR informed the young lawyer “But boss, don’t you want the…” “Tommy, please,” said the president, “That was merely for public show. I want the issue!” he declared.

There it is, “Tommy the Cork’s” story, FDR’s 1936 re-election issue, and my own dilemma all rolled into one scary reality.

Why have answers when one can have issues? Think of all the employment opportunities that issues bring to Rush Limbaugh, Ed Schultz, even pharmaceutical companies that manufacture Tums and tranquilizers. The beat just goes on and on and on and so does my personal dilemma!

RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED,

EDWIN COONEY