By Edwin Cooney
Just the other day, my bride of exactly nine months identified
(for either my edification or education -- take your pick!) one of her “pet peeves,” people
who are insensitive to others’ time. No,
we weren’t quarreling and she wasn’t accusing me of anything –- although we
both agreed that I’m guilty of her favorite peeve from time to time
My response to her was “what makes a peeve a pet?” I went on
to insist that pets are favorite things.
There are, of course, pet dogs, pet cats, and, for a while in the 1970s there
were even Pet Rocks. Hence, if one has a
“pet peeve,” isn’t one conceding that there is at least some pleasure and perhaps
even some gratification in the frustration, resentment, or even in the anger?
The idea that one finds pleasure or satisfaction (or perhaps
even both) in peevishness reminds me of the lyric in a song once recorded by
Elvis Presley called “Mean Woman Blues.” Here’s the line:
“Strangest gal I ever had,
Never happy unless she’s mad!”
Now, there is a definite sense of relief or exaltation that’s
natural as one vents negative feelings. The danger, however, to people and especially to
nations is chronic peevishness. On a
personal level, a particularly nettlesome peeve may be described as a “pet”
peeve, but still there is the lingering unhealthy dynamic of peevish pleasure
that can ultimately deaden the intellect or the soul.
Widespread personal peeves invariably become national peeves,
the kinds of peeves political leaders are particularly sensitive to and latch
onto in pursuit of votes. It’s a matter
of record that from the very beginning of her existence, on some level America
has harbored peeves toward most of the major nations of the world.
For example, during the first 80 years or so of our
independence, Americans only sporadically celebrated Christmas, because
Christmas was primarily a British holiday.
Not until German merchants introduced it as a profitmaking strategy for
American enterprise in the 1850s did the good citizens of New York, Boston and
Philadelphia lead the way in donning their “gay apparel” thus enabling them to
more easily sell their products to an increasingly materialistic-hungry
citizenry. Another way to put it is that Christmas was, as a British holiday,
originally repugnant even to God-fearing republican (small r) oriented Americans,
but as soon as it became profitable, the celebration of Christmas went from
being a nonevent to becoming a “traditional” and, certainly, a sacred option.
Of course, Americans most assuredly nurture pet peeves for
their fellow citizens or, more precisely, for fellow inhabitants they devoutly
wish weren’t their fellow citizens.
These have historically included Catholics, the poor, labor, Jews,
ungrateful foreigners, welfare mothers (“queens”), blacks, native Americans, atheists,
public school teachers, bureaucrats (who may be your own kids or even you if
you work for the government), bankers, someone else’s lawyer, immigrants (whether
legal or illegal if they won’t learn English), the politically correct, and, of
course, the other party’s politicians.
The core of the problem, as I see it, is simple. We’ve become a very smug self-satisfied
people. Most of us, much of the time,
have little sense of healthy humility.
Once we identify ourselves as any particular thing, whether it be as a
conservative, a liberal, as a realist, as an atheist or a religious person, as a
family man or woman, a laborer, a businessman or woman and, most certainly, as
a taxpaying American, we’re atop the pyramid of logic, good sense, decency, and
morality. We readily identify the hurts
and needs of others as being of their own making even as we view ourselves as
victims of others’ ingratitude.
The question I think millions of us would most benefit from
is this one: How cheerfully and consistently do you and I meet our own stated
principles? If you peevishly label
others as lazy, greedy, selfish, rude, irreverent, intolerant, impatient,
materialistic, parochial, unprincipled or arrogant, what’s the likelihood that
you come across to others the same way?
Over the past few years, I’ve strived to reach a high degree
of political and social objectivity as opposed to the socio/political certainty
I once possessed. Accordingly, I’ve
become increasingly impatient with those who spew forth, with too much
certainty, political and moral opinions and principles that I once considered
to be near the pinnacle of wisdom and morality.
It just seems to me that having an opinion is easy. As President Kennedy told the 1962 Yale University
graduating class “Too often…we enjoy the comfort of opinion rather than the
discomfort of thought!” Therein, I
suppose you have my pet peeve. Hence, I
too must be aware that certainties are of far greater value than I’ve been
recently willing to grant them.
Perhaps one of the greatest gifts we ever receive is when
someone close and dear to us causes us to wonder and to ponder. To wonder and ponder is to seek questions
rather than answers. Perhaps the most
valuable question is, “How really and truly applicable are most of our peeves –
especially when they’re dear enough to us to be labeled “pets?”
RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED,
EDWIN COONEY
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