This should be column number 367 and you should have
received it last week. However, the
truth of the matter is that I’m late with it.
Lateness has been a bugaboo of mine since I was in the fifth
grade back in the spring of 1957. One
day in late March or early April, I’ve forgotten exactly which, I walked into
Mrs. Hilken’s class as the last tinkles of the school bell rang. Down to the
principal’s office I was sent for being late.
Of course, Mr. Brayer, our principal, asked me why I’d been sent down and
when I told him, he told me to come back after school and he’d talk to me. He apparently forgot, because as I was
reporting to his office he was leaving for home. He asked me to come back the following week,
which would have been exactly the following Tuesday. I guess he knew he was going to be away –
thus the seven-day wait for my scolding or for maybe even the fictional (but
still infamous) rubber hose. As it
turned out, I escaped both the scolding and rubber hose as Mr. Brayer died
before the following Tuesday could arrive.
Now, I told you all of that to tell you this. Two weeks ago I sent out my 366th
column. That means this week’s topic
should have been last week’s. That means
I’m late again -- thus the above story.
In addition to lateness, I also suffer from sentimentality,
which means that I’m a sucker for such things as clean slates and milestones
whether significant or trivial! There
are, of course, 365 days in most years and 366 days in every fourth year according
to the 500 year old Gregorian calendar, which means that you could read one of
my columns, were you so inclined, every day for a solid year. Were you to do that and it took you, say, two
minutes to read each column, you’d spend a total of 732 minutes with me, which
is a total of twelve hours and twelve minutes reading all those columns. Wow! Isn’t that impressive?
While I’m patting myself on the back (I’ve got to be careful
not to break my arm!), I should tell you that after writing 100 columns, Edwin Cooney
was interviewed by his alter ego Ed Cooney for column number 101. That was back on June 30th, 2008. For some odd reason, I forgot about column
number 200 or 201 and by column number 250 (not waiting for column 251, mind
you), Little Eddie, the little kid of my alter ego, interviewed me. That was back on August 22nd,
2011. I forgot number 300, but here I am
celebrating number 366 a week late – thus the self-reprimand as the title of
this column.
The origin of all this is self-examination. Late last week I was suffering a bit of
writer’s block so I asked myself why I even do this. Of course, the three goals I give – to
inform, to stimulate thought and to entertain – came to mind, but I then probed
even deeper into my own psyche. One of
my best friends and most careful readers insists that I write primarily to show
off. He insists that I like to show how
much I know about history or baseball or current events. We joke about it and he says he “forgives me”
because he loves me –- as I do him – and anyway, he insists, why else would I
write, since I’m not being paid? (My friend prides himself on being a
realist while I insist he’s merely being cynical!)
I think I write for deeper reasons than what might be termed
male or even intellectual “show and tell” -- or even worse, chauvinism. I believe I write for the same reason I enjoy
engaging others in conversation or even debate.
In order to be really valuable, knowledge or perspective has to be
shared. Even one’s thoughts aren’t fully
alive unless they are shared with others.
Here is a brief list of thoughts I have shared with many of
you since June 2005 when I wrote my first column.
First, near the beginning, I shared the late CBS commentator
Eric Severeid’s observation about “the special strength of the shameless” in
international relations.
Soon thereafter, I shared with you my conclusion that
there’s no such thing as “common sense” (meaning a sense common to all). I
insisted, and still do, that there is such a thing as “good sense.” (I also insisted then as I still do that the
phrase “common sense” is merely an emotional and intellectual control
mechanism.)
A little later, I expounded on the mere vengefulness rather
than the justice or morality of capital punishment.
Shortly thereafter, I shared with you preacher Roy
Ratcliff’s encounter and experience with the serial killer and even cannibalistic
Jeffrey Dahmer as described in Ratcliff’s book entitled “Dark Journey Deep Grace.”
Topics such as history, biography, and significant aspects of
current events have been subjects on which I’ve offered my perspective and
position. I’m incapable of keeping
either concerns or satisfactions strictly to myself; otherwise they would be
too empty to be of much use or gratification. Whether the topic is Clement
Moore’s “Twas the night before Christmas” or the story of the late Jerry Ford’s
luncheon meeting with his real father, the fact is that I’m incapable of
keeping my appreciation of significant historic or human events strictly to
myself.
Here’s the unvarnished truth. Although I’ve yet to make my first penny as a
writer, nevertheless I’ll keep writing, because it alleviates a feeling of
isolation that comes over me in the absence of the thoughts, feelings and ideas
of you who so generously respond to these almost weekly musings.
Next Monday, January 20th, 2014 looms just ahead
on the calendar. The sun will rise and
there in your inbox will be another Cooney’s Corner column.
I wonder if it’ll be late!
RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED,
EDWIN COONEY
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