Two days ago, Saturday, November 28th, 2020, I turned 75 years old. Seventy-five isn't a great age these days. It might be comparable to turning 60 back in 1960! Still, by the time one turns 75, a lot of decisions, good and bad, have framed our lives and have invariably affected the lives of people around us.
To begin with, when one reaches 75, one invariably has experienced all types of birthdays: happy, sad, disappointing, as well as wonderfully gratifying birthdays. When I was ten years old, I received a doctor's kit so I could be the doctor when playing with my friends. Two years later, a school nurse I had a crush on gave me Elvis Presley's extended 45 RPM record of “Jailhouse Rock,” which my then foster brother Danny confiscated for his collection. In 1971, when I turned 26, my family had a birthday party for me and Uncle Gene who turned 74 on November 29th — and, since 26 plus 74 equals 100, our birthday cake got pretty hot from the 100 candles that Cousin Ann put on it!
My best friend and editor Roe has celebrated my birthday in a big, big way ever since we were graduate students at SUNY Geneseo, New York, because she has a soft spot for birthdays! I majored in History and she was a Library Science major. That was the year that I turned 28.
Then there was the time twenty-five years ago that my California friends Jana and Tony took me out for dinner and teased me about becoming a "senior citizen," a status both of them have since come to share.
In 2012, I had just become engaged so my best birthday present that year was a sweet and wonderful fiancé by the name of Marsha.
To reach 75 means that much of my lifetime expectancy is behind me. Thus, I have three major choices: to obsessively worry about it, to ignore it, or to simply let it be a part of me. The day you receive this writing, November 30th, is Winston Churchill's birthday. He turned 75 on Wednesday, November 30th, 1949. While he had already achieved much by then, ahead of him lay a second term as British Prime Minister, the Coronation of Queen Elizabeth II, and his Knighthood as a Member of the Order of the Garter, England's most senior level of nobility (outranked only by the Cross of Victoria and St. George's Cross).
When Casey Stengel turned 75, he had just ended his 55-year career as player and manager. Still ahead was his election to the Baseball Hall of Fame.
Then there were those who gave much, created much, who never saw their 76th year: Abe Lincoln, Teddy and Franklin Roosevelt, John Lennon, Elvis Presley, and Roy Orbison. (Note: Joe Biden at 78 is about to become President of the United States. He made his decision to run in 2017 before his 75th birthday occurred that November 20th.)
Of course, the “elephant" in all of our abodes is our individual mortality. When will it arrive? What will it be like? There are two vital parts to this speculation. What do we know versus what do we believe about it?
What we know is that it is coming. Insofar as I can tell, in my case it's coming within the time difference that has occurred between today and my fiftieth birthday back on Tuesday, November 28th, 1995. What I have no way of knowing is how it will come or how much discomfort I will experience before its ultimate arrival. In other words, the approach of physical death can be more intimidating than the occurrence of death itself. Another aspect is the disagreeable reality that due to their own mortality, too many of my friends are likely to have experienced their change before I do. Accordingly, I often think it would be better if I could complete my life experience before they do. After all, loneliness is one of the most painful life experiences no matter how young or old you may be!
What I believe (mostly without actual proof) is two fold. First, as a Christian, I believe there is both a God and a Heaven. I believe this because I've been assured by those who came before me and for whom I have the greatest respect that it's true. Many believe that once life is complete there exists only "nothingness" or “oblivion." Perhaps they’re right, but insofar as I'm aware, "oblivion" doesn't insist that you be its disciple. Nothingness is just itself. It requires nothing and will offer nothing because nothing is exactly what it is! As for its opposite which is religious faith (in my case Christian faith), its promise possesses the possibility of energy and life beyond the human dimension we've all experienced.
Second, I believe that since birth and life are natural, physical death is natural and, once within its domain, we have nothing to fear. I often think, as I study history, that on November 27th, 1945, the day before I was born, as “alive” as I was, I had no fear of life. I wasn't anxious to be born. In fact, I was probably quite content where I was. After all, I had no knowledge of life or of what it was like or what it meant. Hence, I'm convinced that the day after I've followed former President Ronald Reagan into the sunset, there'll be no sense of regret or longing. Due to a lack of knowledge before life, I had no expectations or fears of life, so how can I know enough to fear death in view of my religious faith?
Of course, I hope that I will live a gratifying existence the entire approximate quarter of a century that's left to me. I'm not anxious to leave my family, my friends, my country, the New York Yankees, or especially the benefit of that increasing capacity which persons with disabilities have gained through technology to function in this information-gathering era.
I want to live and I want you to happily live, too. Let every day be your personal day for doing and being, laughing, praying and, above all, loving!
RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED,
EDWIN COONEY
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