WHAT'S IT LIKE FOR OTHERS TO EXPERIENCE YOU OR ME?

By Edwin Cooney

Nine days ago, my wife and I visited our local Apple store which is located in a rather complex nearby mall. As we were leaving, I became upset with the public's inquiry of me as to where I wanted to go. When I responded that I wanted to go to the front door of the mall, they asked me "which front door?" Since there are north, south, east and west "front doors,” I couldn't easily respond to the inquiry and thereby showed impatience with the question. My wife insisted that I was both mean and rude to those trying to help me and I wasn't in the least sympathetic to her observation. However, I've often felt compelled to wonder what it's like to both experience and know me! Hence, I hope you'll feel empowered as you consider what it's like for others to know and experience you.

All of us have social and spiritual, professional and attitudinal assets and liabilities. The golden question, however, is how effective or damaging to our relationships with others are the more prominent aspects of our personality?

From the very beginning, I've offered three major goals of these weekly columns. I've asserted that they should inform, stimulate thought, and, as much as possible, entertain the reader. I'm guessing that, for the most part, I've succeeded in meeting at least one of these goals in each column. Naturally, some weeks are better than others!

My individual interactions with family, everyday acquaintances, and, especially, intimate friends are largely dependent on mood and circumstance. I've learned (very often the hard way) that the tone of my voice, even when I don't intend it, may intimidate others. I too often come across to others as arrogant. Painful as it is, this is vital information for me to consider. I must struggle to modify this most unfortunate aspect of my personality.

I'm convinced that if we were more aware (than we obviously are) of the importance of how others interpret our individual hopes and fears, we would be a happier and more productive people in 21st Century America.

From a personal standpoint, I didn't realize while growing up how my inability to read body language affected my relationships with others. Hence, I acknowledge to a degree greater than ever before how essential it is to be able and willing to read the reactions of others to what I say or write about their concerns.

As for the incident nine days ago, I'm not particularly sorry for my frustration, but Marsha was certainly right in her characterization of my reaction to the incident.

Our incapacity for perfection is both realistic and understandable, but to the extent that we fail to strive for perfection, we are all losers!

All imperfections are legitimate subjects for redress.

Here's a bright idea! You go first and I'll do what I can to improve my personal imperfections!

Oh! One more thing. The "front door" I was looking for in order to catch the Uber which we needed to get home was the west door of the mall.

Still, one more inquiry! How many front doors do you have where you live?  

RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED,

EDWIN COONEY