A NEW CONCEPT CALLED “THE STINKIN’ TRUTH”

By Edwin Cooney

One of the most fertile institutions in 21st Century society today is the podcast, a program available in a digital format over the internet. I think of these podcasts as mini broadcasts of stories and ideas designed to take the public where it's never been — and sometimes doesn't really need to go.

One of the most intriguing podcasts is called "The Stinkin' Truth,” largely encompassing real possibilities that are true, but that you or I would rather not experience, especially as sports fans.

Here's one set of simultaneous stinkin' truths:  One: Trump might win this November fifth election. Two:  Harris might win this November fifth election. (Keep in mind that all of us must own and handle stinkin' truths!)

A stinkin' truth I've had to face since 2009 is that the Yankees haven't won the World Series.

The world is bathed in truths: relative truths, partisan truths, personal truths, ideological truths and, this fall, Trump and Harris truths.

The most dangerous stinkin' truth is that it's possible that a world leader might miscalculate and bring on a nuclear explosion or that humanity's carelessness and selfishness might permanently poison the earth so that it might not be habitable. (Come to think of it, as bad as that would be for you and me, it might be good for the planet, thus enabling it to replenish itself for the next ten or twenty thousand years of habitation, human or otherwise.)

Sometimes we create our own "stinkin' truths" due to our personal insecurities or doubts about the capacity or veracity of others.

I once had a landlord who insisted that he hated lawyers. According to him, they too often lied, misrepresented, and schemed to make a buck. One Tuesday, early in November of 1980, I insisted that his doubling of my rent was way too much while being unfair at the same time. By Thursday, his lawyer was knocking at my door to serve me with an eviction notice. Oh! I forgot to mention that my landlord was the head of a citywide organization designed to control rent increases. Additionally, I learned that this gentleman actually had a direct telephone line to his lawyer.

Although some "stinkin' truths" are really stinky, some are actually funny. How about the Idaho man, David Rush, who spit 47 ping pong balls from his mouth against the wall in just 30 seconds to set a world record! Rush wasn't as proud of his spitting prowess as he was of his tenacity and persistence in the attainment of his crazy record!

Here's a wondrous truth: UPI recently reported that a Texas cat that had been missing for 3 years was found in Massachusetts. The cat had been loved so much by it's Texas owners that a chip had been inserted beneath its skin and was discovered during  an examination in Massachusetts. The cat, missing since January 2022, is Shoto. Her owner Karla only by chance answered the call from Dakin, Massachusetts and drove the 2,000 miles to retrieve Shoto. Only Shoto knows how her trip began, how she was treated or even how it ended.

Here's still another truth, this one personal. It occurred back in the early 1990’s. My son's cat went missing for about six weeks. One day, my son's mother and her boyfriend came home and there was Cinnamon meowing on her porch, thin as a rail and malnourished. At the vet that afternoon, they discovered that Cinnamon had been trapped in a garage that she had wandered into just before the people who owned the garage went on vacation.

Stinkin' truths are found everywhere: in the grocery store; at the barber or beauty shop; even in the “sack” with your significant other! History books are loaded with stinkin' truths. While it's true that the Electoral College distorts the popular vote, the final stinkin' truth is that we would never have been the United States of America without it. (In fact, still another stinkin' truth is that most every truth demands a price!)

Stinkin' truths possess an integrity. They can't be manufactured. They can only be realized. They can be funny, ironic, even boring, but they just might be the only genuinely real truth on "God's green earth."

Enjoy the idea. There's a lot in it!

No bull!


RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED,

EDWIN COONEY