TUESDAY’S OUTCOME: POLITICAL VS. PURE CITIZENSHIP

By Edwin Cooney

As all of you know, I don’t know anything about politics or about great domestic or international affairs. That’s why I always go to my intellectual gurus Dunderhead and Lunkhead when I’m unsure of the past, present, or future.

“So, what’s going to happen to this poor country of ours on August 2nd?” I cried as I plunked myself down between Lunkhead and Dunderhead in the out-of-doors section of my local watering hole.

Lunkhead, his cigar lit and jutting out of his mouth at an upward tilt, growled, “Obama America is going down the tubes, son!”

“Nuts!” Dunderhead shot back as he puffed on a curved pipe. “The debt limit will be raised as it should be and the economy will continue its recovery.”

“Horse-puckey!” Lunkhead bellowed. “I suppose that as the deadline approaches on Monday, liberal Democrats and some of those northeastern lily-livered Republicans will vote to save Obama’s bacon and save our international credit, but it’s all a ponzi scheme. It’ll all crash for Obama just before next year’s election as it did for McCain. Then, in 2013, eighty years after Roosevelt, this country will finally get an old, but a solid deal.”

“So,” said Dunderhead. “You really want America to fail. Is that right?”

“Not at all! We just want Obama to fail,” Lunkhead insisted.

“As I recall,” said Dunderhead, “back in 1981 when we were getting over the Carter years, you Republicans insisted that to do anything other than to support President Reagan was damned close to treason. Explain the difference, Lunkhead, if you can!”

“It’s simple,” Lunkhead said sipping his scotch. “President Reagan’s leadership was traditional leadership whereas Obama’s excuse for leadership comes out of old Moscow and Beijing.

“Ah!” Dunderhead shot back, “and you hate everything that comes out of “old Moscow” and present day Beijing, don’t you, Lunkhead?”

“Certainly,” said Lunkhead “and so should you and your president hate everything that comes out of Socialistic or Communistic societies.

“Well, then,” said Dunderhead, putting down his beer, “presidents, Republican presidents in particular, have been borrowing Communist money to finance huge deficits since the days of Ronald Reagan. They’ve been borrowing that money to save the individual and corporate rich from having to pay for two wars in Iraq, as well as for the war in Afghanistan—all advocated by Conservative America. Taxes have been raised to pay for every American war from the Civil War until 2001. You deplore and disassociate yourselves from Communism, but your hand has been out for almost thirty years for Communist gold. Now, suddenly, you want this borrowing to stop. Why now? Why shouldn’t it have stopped in 2007 or 2008? Finally, Lunkhead, was President Reagan wrong when he declared in 1986 that it would be irresponsible for Congress to ever allow us to go into default?

“Wait a minute,” I cut in, “who’ll be responsible if we do go into default and the economy tanks?

“The president,” they both said simultaneously!

“Who will get the credit if we don’t go into default?” I asked.

“That’s a moot point,” said Lunkhead, “actually, we should go into default. We deserve it.”

“What makes now the time for us to deserve it?" I timidly asked.

To my shock, conservative Lunkhead and liberal Dunderhead suddenly got up and walked out of the watering hole leaving me to pay the check.

As I strolled home, I realized the wisdom of their walkout. By not answering my “why now” inquiry, they were allowing me to use my own head.

Of course, it’s politics. After all, it’s more important to play politics and perhaps default than it is to show integrity enough to find a workable way out of our difficulties, isn’t it?

The question is: when did this all begin? Of course, it began with our founding fathers. It began when Hamilton, Jefferson and Madison defied George Washington’s warning about party politics. Back then, political partisanship was a useful or practical method of defining differences and reaping votes. Today, it’s a matter of morality. Today, doctrinaire idealism is far purer than mere citizenship.

How could I not have realized that? Silly me!

RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED,
EDWIN COONEY