By Edwin Cooney
I’m fortunate enough to have a lot of friends which means
I’m exposed to a lot of opinions concerning all kinds of events, personalities,
and subjects, especially religious and political beliefs. A few days ago, I read an observation which the
late Maya Angelou once made: “I've learned that people will
forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never
forget how you made them feel.”
That observation resonates with me because until I was
around 50 years old, I thought that what one said and did was what most people
depended upon. I even believed that if
you warned people regarding what your response to a given behavior might be, at
the very least they would give you credit for being true to your word. After all, if I had a nickel for each time
I’ve heard someone excuse their abrupt, rude, or aggressive behavior in a sensitive
situation by saying “at least I was honest!” or “didn’t I at least tell the
truth?” then I’d be a very wealthy man indeed.
Of course, honesty is a behavior all of us admire and depend on,
especially in others, but all of us wince just a little at “brass knuckles”
honesty – that is, the “brass knuckles honesty” of others!
It’s my experience that women, more than men, are sensitive
to feelings. More often than is good for
us, we males insist that principle and logic (especially logic!), is what makes
the world function as it should.
I have a close friend whose biggest criticism of women is
that how they feel is more important to them than what “makes sense.” When he’s disgusted with men, usually liberal
men, he refers to their “feminine” logic.
American history clearly demonstrates that how the people
who conduct our national affairs ultimately feel is what finally prevails as
national policy. Our very insistence
that popular government even with all its drawbacks is superior to any other form
of government is ample proof that how most people feel is ultimately more
preferable to what a lot of very smart people may think. How often, for example, are you and I pleased
when we see a news story reporting that the experts on any topic were baffled at
the outcome of a particular event?
One of the most incredible events in American history is the
preeminence our “Founding Fathers” freely and easily gave to a reluctant George
Washington. No historian I have ever
read suggests that Washington possessed an intellect comparable to Benjamin
Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, John Jay or John Adams (just to name
a few potential leaders of that era).
Still, these men of considerable intellect obviously trusted George
Washington even as he advocated the establishment of a strong central government,
the authority of which would have precedence over state government. These men felt Washington was sufficiently
above doctrinaire politics to establish the kind of government that would balance
authority and judgment for the benefit of the whole people.
We are the only living creatures who have the capacity to
alter the socio/physical environment in which we live. Logic and scientific applications
are essential elements of any conclusion or decision we make. Still, Ms.
Angelou is right in her conclusion that invariably how people feel ultimately
matters more than what people may think.
The history of twenty-first century politics is a prime
example of the truth of her observation.
Three men, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack Obama, have occupied
the White House since Saturday, January 1st, 2000. All of these men evoke especially strong
emotions from their supporters and detractors.
There is, of course, nothing new in this. Over the past 80 years the beliefs, actions,
and personalities of FDR, Truman, Kennedy, Nixon and Reagan brought forth
comparable hopes and fears, warmth and loathing. However, the pace of a changing nation and
world environment seems to be intensifying people’s feelings of uncertainty to
a degree unknown in America since just before the Civil War.
So, what forces have a tendency to energize your
feelings? What kind of information
modifies how you feel about any person, place, or event?
I offer the above because our capacity to feel rather than
react by instinct is what separates you and me from every living thing on
earth. Feelings drive most of our
day-to-day activities. Politicians,
merchants, entertainers, the clergy and certainly your closest friends and
family members depend on your good feelings for reassurance that what they have
to offer you really and truly matters.
If you feel that this topic is rather trivial, consider this
likelihood especially in the wake of the anniversary of World War I:
Awareness of what energizes our feelings may be all that
prevents some irrational politically or religiously motivated national leader
from launching humankind’s final war.
RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED,
EDWIN COONEY
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