By Edwin Cooney
It's a mystery to me as to why Olivia Newton-John's passing last Monday hit me as hard as it did. Perhaps it was because her persona reminded me of a college girlfriend. Perhaps it was because her voice came across so sweet yet strong and soft as it blended so passionately below the surface of the heavy electric guitars in songs like "Let Me Be There” and "If You Love Me (Let Me Know)." Maybe it was simply because of my mood or more likely due to my time of life both then — in my twenties — and now.
My sorrow was somewhat alleviated when I learned that she had passed any point of emotional distress because she'd been allowed to do and accomplish more than she'd even hoped. Because she was at peace, even amidst her pain, I, and those who loved her most, were certainly freed by her sense of priority to be at ease.
In one hundred and three days from now, I'll begin my 78th year upon becoming 77. That means I can equate the years I'm likely to live back to 1996 or even 1990 or, to put the most optimistic spin on it, back to 1986.
Looking ahead I'm of two almost contradictory minds about it all.
I love living and anticipating, but I insist even in the wake of medical disapproval to smoke my pipe, exercise little, and eat what I choose even in the face of scientific knowledge that I am hardly in a position to dispute.
On the other hand, because I love and depend heavily on the predictability of life, I wonder what the ending of that life will be like. There is inevitable discomfort from that which is unknown. After all, human beings have one thing in common: we know life but have never experienced death. Many are convinced, through logic, that the end of life brings about eternal oblivion. After all, they remind us, nothing was “real” before we were born; why should anything be real or relevant when our lives are over?
Others of us believe that life, once begun, like energy itself, enters a new dimension and is spent, as is energy, for the ongoing continuance of the universe. This is the real message of spirituality as I see it! (I'm more than comfortable to believe and have faith in The Apostles' Creed!) Too many brilliant minds have accepted the existence of spirituality or religious faith for me to merely assert that the only reason for the existence of religious faith is fear of death.
I'm convinced that death is so natural that we need not fear it. It's the unnatural that we ought to legitimately fear. Remember, most people neither steal from nor murder one another. Most people look to one another to learn from and to teach each other. Selling and buying from others, building and creating, living and hoping are all natural — as natural as birth and death.
Perhaps the first cry you heard from your newborn was a cry of distress upon leaving the womb, but your baby's very next request was for comfort!
Our grief upon death is largely due to our natural feelings of loss and that grief is as natural as the joy the first time we met a loved one, be it a parent, a sibling, a spouse, a neighbor or a friend. I hope the end comes to me before it does to those I love and regard most. Loss is beyond death as it covers so many conditional and material matters that have to do with existence within life.
As to why the passing of some people affects us more than others, I'll leave that to you to explain to me! Not even Elvis Presley's August 16th, 1977 death, despite my twenty year identification with him, actually saddened me as much as Olivia Newton-John's last Monday!
Of course, the phenomena we know as death is as natural as birth. However, although what's natural may occasionally be frightening, it may well be that death is ultimately as refreshing as your next breath or your most recent drink of water!
RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED,
EDWIN COONEY
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